Review: The Princess Bride

The Princess Bride by William Goldman
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

So Tumblr loves the movie based on this book.
I’m pretty sure everyone I’ve talked to on the internet loved the movie based on this book, I love the movie based on this book.
And after reading 23% of this book and DNFing out of it with all my might, I can confidently say that the movie is much better than the book.


For one, the movie completely skips the first seven or so percent of the book, in which William Goldman

1. Tells us all obout how amazing The Princess Bride is.


2. 2. Explains how The Princess Bride changed his life forever


3. Recounts in great detail how he loved the book so much he even passed an occasion to cheat on his wife in order to get the book for his son’s 10th birthday.


4. Makes sexist digs at his wife (she’s too thin, too mean, too smart, too ambitious…)


5. Fatshames his kid

I almost let go of the book twice during those first seven percent. I probably should have.
Because if you weren’t already bored by this intense case of ‘me, my dick and I’ passages, then you have to struggle through several pages of Golding giving us a literal blow-by-blow of how Buttercup became the most beautiful woman in the wolrd, complete with revoltingly sexist mentality (Buttercup only gets into body hygiene so as not to shame Westley? Really?). All of this completed by Marcus Zujac-esque parenthesis that are then explained by even more parenthesis telling the readers that 'if you don’t like the useless and nonsensical parenthesis, don’t read them’.


I’m honestly just glad I didn’t have to read the author’s commentary in red ink, because it would have made the whole think twice as obnoxious and offensive.

My advice?


Stick to the movie.